Hard to Know Where to Start

Dear Jackie,
I have been wanting to start a blog for you ever since you went to heaven. It has just been hard to know where to start. All I know is I need to talk with you. I love you and miss you more than my heart can sometimes stand, so I am going to write to you. If anyone who knows what you meant me wants to read along, they can.

I will start by telling everyone that you were the third youngest in a family of twelve. Nine girls and three boys. You were also the smallest. Barely five foot tall—you never weighed more than 98 pounds most of your adult life. You had the biggest heart too. You would give whatever you had to anyone if you thought they need or wanted something. You were the funniest—you kept us all in stitches. You could tell the funniest stories too. Not just pretty, you were beautiful. The most beautiful of all the nine girls. You never knew this, but you were Jackie. Those beautiful brown eyes, that smile, and your personality too, these made you so special.

Work. No one could work like you. You know the ole saying, "You work like a man;" well, no man could keep up with you. You gave your all to anything you ever did. Work, love, family, kids, and grand-kids— you gave so much. I hope you knew how much I loved you—all five feet of you. You would never back down to anyone if you believed they were wrong. You would fight with all you had. I do not believe you ever did lose a fight.

You were strong in your belief in God too. You taught me so much about God when I went through throat cancer. You knew the Word better than anyone I have ever known. I remember when you read the Old Testament; you could not put it down until you had finished it. I also remember when you read the New Testament. You said you liked the old one better, and had just recently read it again. You and our other sister Jo taught me how to pray and get answers to those prayers. When Lowell fought his battle with cancer, I knew how to pray for him because of you and Jo. You were always there for me in my darkest hours, and got me through it all. I tried to be there for you and I am so sorry. I don't understand and I don't know what happened. I prayed and I believed. I am so sorry. I miss you so much.

You have been gone a little over 5 months. Heather and I text almost daily. Jackie, she is such a good Mother. You would be so proud of her. Sophie is a little doll. She is crawling and has two teeth now. Heather misses you so much. She really needs her Mother. Please let her know you are there near her. She watches for signs of you just as I do, hoping in a dream you will visit just to let us know you are still with us.

Jase and Jax started school. Yes Heather made sure they had their new shoes and that they fit. Ha! Joshua is gardening and growing all kinds of stuff. You would be so proud. He started one for you too where the playhouse used to be. Chris is still lonely for you as he will always be. Come visit him often. He needs you still. Heather and Joshua have made him a big part of their lives now. Ken and Jeannie are very supportive too. You know all this though. You are watching over us all.

I am fixin’ to go to bed. Got to work tomorrow. Wish I could call you tonight.
Love you.
Goodnight sister.