Dear Jackie,
 We are into October already.I cannot believe this.I know you would be decorating for halloween by now. You decorated for all holidays better than anyone of us. You put your heart into everything you did. I miss you so much Jackie. I dreamed about you last night. You had a hat on and a long dress like back in the old days. I told you how pretty you looked and you laughed that laugh that only you had. My dreams always end with you living cause we believed.. You fight and I fight for your healing. Then I wake up. Its October 20th. Mikes birthday and Earls. Also pioneer days in our town. We had alot of things going on which I would have shared with you.I saw pictures of Sophie Heather and Ken , and they made me cry for you.I know how much you wanted to be a part of their life. Its October 22th  Heather sent me a video of Sophie crawling talking and just being a 10 an ahalf month old. She is wondering how they will get threw thanksgiving. I don't know how. I don;t know how I will get threw thanksgiving without you. We always planed our meal together. What you were fixin and what I was fixen.This is so not fare. I want you back. Jackie help me. I am lost. I need you. You was always my reasoning.You always made me see . I need you. Jackie it has been awhile. I cannot talk right now. Just want you to know how much I miss you and now dealing with Lowell passing. I know he is with you and the rest of the family. I just was not ready for him to go. I know you understand. I know you know how much I loved him. Please tell him that I always loved and missed him, and that I blow my horn everytime I see a white tocoma toyota pick up truck